Thursday, March 15, 2012

My boys

Not sure where to start, I am still hesitant to share too much.  Do I start at the beginning or just by topic? I will start with my children. Two beautiful boys. Gifts to me from up above. I always tell them everyday, that they are my biggest blessings. Every so often I ask them what is my best gift, they answer with Aidan and I or Connor and I.  I could never comprehend the love I would have for my children. It radiates. Now, don't get me wrong, I lose my patience (often) and there are days I want to run out of the house screaming. But in my heart those boys are my life. My reason for being.  The love for my children was there before I even knew my husband existed. Everything I have accomplished before they were born was for them. Attaining my degrees in college were not for me but for their future.  My love for them is impermeable. It is the closest thing I can compare to God's love for us.

I even dreamt of them before they were born, before I was engaged and before I knew how much joy a sleeping baby on your chest can bring. The dream was so real that I knew it would occur in the future. They were actually the ages they are now. We were at a event in our local arena. I was sitting in our seats with a young child (my youngest son) while my husband (my boyfriend at the time) took the older child (my older son) to the bathroom. My husband came back saying my son's pants were too small. I felt a horrible guilt trip and even woke up from the dream feeling that way. Heck I still do thinking about the dream. However, that dream gave me much solace during worrisome times in my life when my children were babies.

What a blessing to get a glimpse of your unborn children.

Also, I would just like to say my oldest son's pants currently do not fit him very well, since he grows like a weed. This could easily happen any day. However I am so paranoid anytime we go to the arena for an event that I always double check :P

Sweet dreams

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Dreams

My mother told me recently that she thinks as you grow older your dreams are less vivid. I responded quickly with "I hope that is not the case."

Since I was 17, I have had vivid dreams. Up until this point I have shared them with very few people. I have received some negative reactions and felt it was best kept to myself.  It was never my intention to make anyone upset or sad. So I often remained quiet about those visits with family members and glimpses into the future. I still am unsure if it is real or just dreams. I can tell you I have had dreams that have come to reality years later. There are many to share and over the next few weeks, I will let you be a part of what I am able to see.

Finding Faith in Life

Life goes so fast. It becomes a blur for many including myself. Until something happens that is so impossible that the thought hadn’t even crossed our minds. The death of a loved one suddenly, a plane crash, the diagnosis of cancer in a child, a miscarriage or a traumatic accident. Life can also have amazing surprise moments that one could have never dreamt. A newborn in her mother’s arms who thought the day would never happen, a scholarship given to a child that they thought would never speak or the gift of life to a stranger when all hope was loss. For me, it is more simple,  a unexpected check in the mail,  a stranger buying you coffee or even another car letting you in.
We often wonder or I do at least, what the world is all about. What defines our life? Why are we here? Is it for a greater purpose? I believe so or really I know so.  My faith has given me the road to see the light when others simply can not. I have decided to write, so others can have the hope when all seems lost. Even a flicker of light within us to know God is to know the peace that is ahead of us.  
The journey of life is hard. It is rocky and uncertain. But if we have faith it can get us where ever we need to go. Peace can come from a sunset, a calm summer’s day or a baby's smile. I see peace all over. Do you?
I often find myself hesitating to share what I have the ability to see. I am not sure of the reason why. I am sure it is part of not wanting to make a foul of myself and part of not wanting to upset others. I have decided to write not only about my faith but my dreams that often give me a glimpse of what is to come, either here on earth or from a place that is so amazing we cant even phantom the beauty and peace.